Abstract: I will discuss a perspective on counting and locating the majority of our Universe's baryons from the scant signatures imprinted on the light and signals of distant sources (quasars and fast radio bursts). These data offer what I consider the most robust measurement of a cosmological parameter (the baryonic mass density) and I'll describe previous and ongoing efforts to establish where the majority of this matter resides. If time permits, I'll briefly detail my new adventure to measure – again in silhouette – the constituents of our Earth's oceans (e.g. phytoplankton).